We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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