How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
