like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
