i will never coherently bang her
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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