I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
