hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
