she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
