:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
pray to the hookup gods
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
