I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
