Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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