If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
