Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
