Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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