So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
