some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
