Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
