I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
