AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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