she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
