My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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