Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
