Come see our sink grown plant.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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