what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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