Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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