the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
