i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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