I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
