i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize