with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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