so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
