So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
