I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
