You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
