Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize