But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
