she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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