she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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