He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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