soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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