heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
