when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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