Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize