you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
