Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
