conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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