I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I have tasted many bathrooms
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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