We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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