Are we in a gay sports bar?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
