my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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