you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My breasts were aching with rage.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
