I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
