yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
