i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
