Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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