It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
