When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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