Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Welp...herpes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
my poor anus
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
