bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
