Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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