I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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