I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
