i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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