Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
