you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
