if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
