i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
